Monday, 19 January 2015

Get out the Ben and Jerry's, start blaring some "women power" music, and does anybody have any tissues?

***I wrote this back right when Link broke up with me, so most of the missing him stuff is gone now and no longer relevant but for some reason I felt compelled to post it :)***

Breakups suck.

No doubt about it.

When anything ends, it sucks actually. So let me rephrase that, Endings suck. When something like a television series or a relationship ends (not on your terms) (wow. two totally different things) it feels like you are missing a part of yourself that you actually grew to like quite a bit. The happiness, the freedom, the feeling of someone being in your life because they WANT to be, not like your poor family, who are forced to like you. Then, when you have all the memories of the relationship… everywhere and you can't shake the feeling of the person, they're bursts of amazing energy are gone. Or, you can still feel the last time they kissed you, or the held your hand. You are constantly waiting for that text that makes your heart flutter, never to come from the same person again. Holy crud I'm depressing. Sorry.

But in my situation, no matter how much I want to hate him, (and trust me, I WANT to hate his guts) I can't find anything wrong with him still.

If you couldn't tell, I got dumped… well.. kind of…


It was a normal Wednesday night, me and Link had been fighting for a bit and I was basically just a huge ball of extreme emotions.

Fast forward to like 11 PM after not being able to sleep yet.

Me and Link decide to call each other and figure all this stuff out.

One reader, do you know that feeling when you know someone wants to break up with you, and you know the relationship is pretty much over, you just don’t want it to be? When you think that maybe if you don’t say it out loud that the relationships just isn't working anymore maybe it will just fix itself because love conquers all? Yeah? No? Am I talking to nobody? 
YES, yes I am.

SO me and Link talk for like an hour and I have that feeling, I'm giving him tons of opportunities to break up with me. Hes not taking any of them. No "Balls" on that boy I swear.

We are now at 12:30 AM on Thursday.

I cry for a bit and talk to my BFF Marlee, and then she goes to bed.

It's 1:30 AM and I still can't sleep.

I go downstairs with my pillow, blanket, and tears and decide to watch some TV at 1:30 in 
the morning. There is nothing good on TV at 1:30 in the morning.

I cry a lot… blah blah blah

It is now 3 AM and I'm still nowhere close to being able to sleep. SO I call my mum. At 3 AM, and to my surprise, she answers. I talk with her and cry and talk and cry more then finally in between all the crying, she convinces me that, basically, I need to break up with HIM. I have to do this because he won't do it to me and I know that. So the little bastard forced me to break up with him while I was still 100% in love with him. That hurt the most I think.

So then I broke up with him over text.

Insensitive I know, but he didn't really deserve a "nice" or "courteous" dumping at this point.

And then I cried some more and went and got my dad and he almost started crying with me 
and we talked and I cried some more and I think we watched Family Feud there on that couch on that horrid morning at 5 AM and in fact, in that moment, I had never felt more loved.

SOO.. that is that

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