Sunday, 21 December 2014

Hello there

Hello Blogosphere, It's me here again. and i broke up with (or maybe he broke up with me.. or maybe we are on a "break", I don't know..) my boyfriend recently. However, I had written a letter for him that i was going to give to him, but now... not. But I like it and i think its really good and i haven't written a post in a while so, here it is:

Hey Link (mwahahahahaha changed his name still),

It's your birthday on Saturday.. (16 OH MA GERDNESS) and I have absolutely no clue what to get you. So, I'm going to go for the sweet, heartfelt approach (the cheap ass approach) and write you yet another letter about where our relationship is right now and where I hope it goes (spoiler: I hope it goes forever and ever and ever and yes) also I'm doing this because we both know I SUCK with the whole "speaking" thing. 

I love you. Just had to get that out of the way. At this current moment in the space-time continuum you are in St. Catherine's doing your THIRD FREAKING PARADE of the weekend (bravo, bravo)!! And as usual I miss you a lot. I am listening to one directions new album on repeat, eating tomatoes and writing this stupid thing. Wow, this is embarrassing. Anyway, last night I "met" Cameron (over the phone)… I've also met your dad and had the pleasant experience of trying to shop with you. That reminds me, I need to get some handcuffs still :/ !! Our relationship is.. erm.. SPECIAL to say the least. For one, we've only been dating for 2 and a half ish moths and I've like, changed in front of you and what's even weirder is that I'm totally comfortable with it :$. It feels like we are a (really awesome) old married couple. I'm always fixing your sleeves and messing with your hair and you're already having to deal with my period-induced mini meltdowns. You know so much about me already it freaks me out sometimes.. You know when I'm not okay, you can see when I've had a crap day and I just need a good cuddle. I love you for that. This is so mushy I "can't even". My foot just fell asleep.. It's that weird feeling when it feels like elastic bands on my foot and it tickles and crap but it's painful all at the same time?? Do you know that feeling? Of course not.. I'm insane. Hey!! I can make this sweet.. That pleasurable constricting feeling is what I feel whenever you touch me or kiss me or even look into my eyes. it feels like my stomach is shrivelling in on itself (in a good way) and it hurts but pleasurable all the same. This really is not turning out how I imagined.. okay so we will leave that whole "situation" alone. Ew. I have Emily's birthday party on your birthday and I don’t really want to go so I'm going to use you as an excuse…  BEST EXCUSE EVER. 

Where I hope this is going? Well I'm going to sound like a love crazed teenage girl here (which I am) but if I'm honest I see it going for a very long time. We might break up a couple times in our 20s but in the end, we will be together and be happy and marlee will cry at our wedding.

Also, random: if you get invited to another "alcohol party" and I'm in Burlington and I'm invited too I want to go? If that’s okay with you, I've always wanted to go to one… so yeah 

Another random thought: Wouldn’t it be awesome if we saved all these letters and read them when we were older and still together? That'd be really cool to look back at how cute and innocent we were back in high school (Also when I was still a stuttering, awkward, virgin) and that’s a luxury a lot of relationships don’t have.. but we will :$

Attached: is a story/recount of the first time we hung out from MY perspective… HOPE U LIKE IT!! (I don’t remember all the details so bear with me here)

That FRIGGING bike path. 

A story recount of the first time you and I hung out, From my point of view.

It was the 1st of August 2014 (?Questionable Date?) and it was freaking HAWT. But I ignored the heat because today was the day I was meeting you. Nothing could ruin my mood. Not even the fact that my hair was NOT "happening" that day… Also, of course I had run out of shorts to wear so I improvised and cut up an old pair of buffalo jeans. I then wrangled my hair into semi-presentable bun, took out the bun, put it back in the bun, took it out again and finally decided "screw this shit" and left it down. Then I threw on a old comfy white t shirt and put on my new favourite scarf.. Yes it was a million degrees outside and yes, I being the smartical particle I am, put on a SCARF. See? you were already making my common sense go to shit and I hadn't even met u yet.  

BUT, I was ready like 2 hours early so I sat on my bed and watched Netflix of course.

Then you texted me saying you were walking or "on da mooove" and I was distracted with watching Orange Is The New Black. SO.. I finished my episode and set out to meet you. (with Birkenstocks on my feet.. and believe it or not this was a strategic move… You'll see why in a minute)

I was early to Long and McQuade of course so I sat down on the picnic bench under the tree. I was PARANOID that my dad was going to come back because I kinda maybe told him I was leaving to hang out with Kayleigh and a bunch of her friends when he went to get his haircut (two hours before I was supposed to meet you) so naturally he'd probably be wondering why I was sitting alone on a bench two hours after he thought I'd left. 

Then, you texted me asking where I was because you were there.. and I said sitting on the picnic bench. I was looking around trying to find u and I was so nervous that I was finally meeting you IN PERSON or that you were going to turn out to be really ugly and yeah…  I think I skimmed across you three or four times before you waved and I recognized it was you. YOU. Like, the guy who id been texting for roughly a month and the guy who I had fallen for even though I knew it was quite improbable that you were going to date me, as you had a girlfriend who you loved a lot, and I could tell. So I backed off. (or tried not to flirt or anything.. still don’t remember if I was successful or not). Anyway, I had met you. And you were perfect, which wasn't helping the whole you're-not-allowed-to-like-him-you-dingus-he-has-a-girlfriend-who-he-loves thing. 

We started to walk down the street with Long and McQuade on it.. (forget the name) and the awkward small talk commenced…

I never finished it...

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