Friday, 21 February 2014

Guys are the ones with the balls?? HA!

Ok before I start lets establish one thing: I am PERFECTLY ok with being single, but sometimes if I guy HAPPENED (It's possible… If he maybe got hit in the head by an asteroid or something) to like me I would really appreciate if he would "strap on a pair" and just ask me out already!! This brings me to the title. I know guys are VERY proud of their well we will call them their "cucumbers" for the purpose of my mum reads these things… (But its true I swear that's all they talk about…) They like compare them with each other's or something and they think that that’s all that we (girls) want them for. (I mean we aren't all SUPER SLUTS are we?) Have you ever tried talking to a guy/boyfriend and somehow you get on the topic of his "cucumber" every 5 freaking seconds?? It's nearly impossible to have serious conversations with them. Getting a slight bit off topic here, back to the fact that although guys are very proud of their balls and cucumber but they never seem to use them. It is quite ridiculous actually, They are supposed to be "manly" and all. But just for one guy to ask out a girl (who, might I add he knows she will say yes so there's no rational reason for him to be nervous) he apparently needs all of his friends to come with him and make like a little circle around him (like the girl is toxic or something… I guess the whole idea of "cooties" never really went away), he needs to be "psyched up" like hes going to wrestle in WWE or something and most importantly he needs to make sure he looks absolutely beautiful (yes, I said beautiful)  just so he can stammer "Will you go out with me?" It's quite pathetic to watch actually.

This brings me to my  main slightly strange point, That I think girls have more "lady balls" than guys do. I mean, in one sleepover girls take more risks with guys (dared to call/Facebook message/text your crush) than guys take with girls in a YEAR!!! Girls also have to carry the babies (for 9 MONTHS) and have to bleed every month in some sort of cruel "punishment" for NOT being pregnant…  (getting some mixed messages here… mums and health class say "NO PREGNANCY" but body says: "I'M GONNA PUNISH YOU FOR NOT BEING PREGNANT! HA!" it’s a vicious cycle there's no winning here…) but that’s a whole other topic.

Back (sort of) on topic, I'm not saying that all guys don’t have any balls some do but they are a dying species. So if any of you have a son or a brother out there that is ball-less, please for the good of the world help him find some!!! -Sincerely, ALL GIRLS/WOMEN EVERYWHERE!!!

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