***I wrote this back right when Link broke up with me, so most of the missing him stuff is gone now and no longer relevant but for some reason I felt compelled to post it :)***
Breakups suck.
No doubt about it.
When anything ends, it sucks actually. So let me rephrase
that, Endings suck. When something like a television series or a relationship
ends (not on your terms) (wow. two totally different things) it feels like you
are missing a part of yourself that you actually grew to like quite a bit. The
happiness, the freedom, the feeling of someone being in your life because they
WANT to be, not like your poor family, who are forced to like you. Then, when
you have all the memories of the relationship… everywhere and you can't shake
the feeling of the person, they're bursts of amazing energy are gone. Or, you
can still feel the last time they kissed you, or the held your hand. You are
constantly waiting for that text that makes your heart flutter, never to come
from the same person again. Holy crud I'm depressing. Sorry.
But in my situation, no matter how much I want to hate him,
(and trust me, I WANT to hate his guts) I can't find anything wrong with him
still.
If you couldn't tell, I got dumped… well.. kind of…
THE STORY OF HOW I KINDA GOT DUMPED.. SORTA
It was a normal Wednesday night, me and Link had been
fighting for a bit and I was basically just a huge ball of extreme emotions.
Fast forward to like 11 PM after not being able to sleep
yet.
Me and Link decide to call each other and figure all this
stuff out.
One reader, do you know that feeling when you know someone
wants to break up with you, and you know the relationship is pretty much over,
you just don’t want it to be? When you think that maybe if you don’t say it out
loud that the relationships just isn't working anymore maybe it will just fix
itself because love conquers all? Yeah? No? Am I talking to nobody?
YES, yes I am.
SO me and Link talk for like an hour and I have that
feeling, I'm giving him tons of opportunities to break up with me. Hes not
taking any of them. No "Balls" on that boy I swear.
We are now at 12:30 AM on Thursday.
I cry for a bit and talk to my BFF Marlee, and then she goes
to bed.
It's 1:30 AM and I still can't sleep.
I go downstairs with my pillow, blanket, and tears and
decide to watch some TV at 1:30 in
the morning. There is nothing good on TV at
1:30 in the morning.
I cry a lot… blah blah blah
It is now 3 AM and I'm still nowhere close to being able to
sleep. SO I call my mum. At 3 AM, and to my surprise, she answers. I talk with
her and cry and talk and cry more then finally in between all the crying, she
convinces me that, basically, I need to break up with HIM. I have to do this
because he won't do it to me and I know that. So the little bastard forced me
to break up with him while I was still 100% in love with him. That hurt the
most I think.
So then I broke up with him over text.
Insensitive I know, but he didn't really deserve a
"nice" or "courteous" dumping at this point.
And then I cried some more and went and got my dad and he
almost started crying with me
and we talked and I cried some more and I think
we watched Family Feud there on that couch on that horrid morning at 5 AM and in
fact, in that moment, I had never felt more loved.
SOO.. that is that
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