I'm not dead, don't worry...

I am not dead, (yay?) I just haven't been "feeling" the writing "juice" coming and I'm not really happy with any of the pre/ prepared posts I have. So trust me, I am working on some posts but they all suck as of now... And I cannot stand how bad they are. 

The Fly that just WON'T DIE

Have you ever hated someone so much that you would do almost anything to get them to LEAVE YOU ALONE? I have that person in my life too, so as I do with all my problems... I'm going to tell random strangers on the Internet about it :) 

Today's problem is: (as the title suggests) is The Fly that just WON'T DIE. 

(Figuratively) I have smacked, sprayed, clobbered, smashed, pounded, pinched, skewered, and "annihilated" This fly but it JUST WONT LEAVE ME ALONE AND DIE ALREADY!!! I have tried everything people told me to do to get rid of said "fly"... I have broken up with it, I have ignored it, I have tried to be polite and just remove myself from situations with it in them.. But I will give this fly one thing, he is a persistent little bugger! He will not leave me alone I mean, it's been 2 MONTHS since I "smacked, sprayed, clobbered, smashed, pounded, pinched, skewered, and annihilated" this fly but it just keeps buzzing in my ear. And if any of you have ever had a fly or a wing-ed bug (or insect) in or around your ear it is one of the most ANNOYING things in the world. And that is exactly how it feels to be me right now with this fly that won't die it's one of the most annoying things on this earth to me (I say one of because I have a younger brother who is the MOST annoying things on this earth to me). But this fly *excuse my French* is getting pretty f**king close.. 

Anyway, the main point of all this "fly that just won't die" business is pretty much because I need someone other than my poor saint-like (for listening to me complain and drag them down with me) friends to blabber to. And because I kept getting complaints that I haven't posted in a while. So that's it for now...

I'm sorry

I have taken JOE: PART 1,  JOE: PART 2 and JOE: PART 3 down... To say the least, JOE read them :) So I am sorry if anybody (all I my 3 "followers") liked them...

Why Gingers are the Superior Humans.

Carrot Top, Ginger, Redhead. These are just 3 of the many nicknames gingers have been called. Being a ginger is  neither a curse nor a blessing. It is a unique experience to say the least. Being a ginger means that you are already from an infant subjected to ridicule from boring people who just wish that they could have your beautiful copper locks. It also means that you are inherently special, only 2% of the WORLD's population has the same orange puffball that they call hair as you. This copper color of hair is also an old lady magnet, (seriously I can't go anywhere without some old lady of whom I've never met before caressing my hair and telling me to never dye it and that it is a gift from god (more like a curse from Hades).

How to tell if someone is a TRUE ginger.

If someone is lucky enough to be blessed with the curse of having red hair (or if they are just a wannabe), there are some telltale signs if they're faking it or not. First, look for the FRECKLES, Freckles are a definite quality all redheads (or every real one I've met) has. Second, The pale skin. Every redhead has unnaturally pale skin and an inability to tan (It really is quite bothersome when you are on the beach in the summer and you are whiter than the clouds). A third defining although iffy quality is if they have fuzzy, curly huge hair.. some VERY LUCKY redheads have naturally straight hair, but most have completely fuzzy, frizzy, curly out of control hair and it never does what the person who has it wants it to do (look nice, or presentable at the least)

Gingers and their… Quirks.

Gingers are commonly known to be well, CRAZY!!! And in my case, it is 100% true. I am an absolute nut job. At one point I was debating with my brother on how Tim Hortons was like potatoes (potato aliens to be exact). I also have been known to speak in various accents (Southern, English, German, some sort of European thing) when I am over- tired.

Why I hate South Park (gasp)

I have never watched the show South Park and I probably never will, I won't because that show started the holiday KICK A GINGER DAY. Which is a whole day in which to celebrate it, you kick a ginger and this is a real thing… trust me there's a website and everything: kick-a-ginger-day.com

Ginger Stereotypes:

Gingers are known for many things ranging from being unbelievably geeky nerds (most likely stereotype) to in the odd case, for ginger women and men being sex gods. Yes, gingers can be both of these things but so can every other hair coloured person in the world if they want to (except for the sex gods thing, that is reserved specifically for gingers… Sorry!) Fiery temper also being a very prominent stereotype (which might I add is TRUE! so for any ginger "haters" out there, I would watch my back if I were you). Gingers are almost always in movies or anything really on TV, they are nerdy characters. This is unfair in my opinion. Gingers may be smart but that does not mean we always must be pinned as "the nerd". So many gingers are also perceived as weird, so think about it if you are or when you were in high school, how many redheads in your school had or have boyfriends\girlfriends?? not many right? This is due to the fact that because of television, we are perceived to either be extreme nerds, extremely creepy or just complete sociopaths.

Overall I really am proud to be a ginger, and even though having my orange puffball I call hair can be a tumultuous experience, I love it and I couldn’t think=k of having any other hair colour (although I have always wanted to see what I would look like as a blonde… (not really))

 

See? what did i tell you? ALWAYS THE NERDS!!!

How it feels to get hit by a TRUCK

I know how it feels to get hit by a truck. I know what you're thinking... You are probably a little confused and maybe even worried (probably not that last one, I'm some random blogger you've never met and probably never will). It might help to say that "I have been hit by a truck" in my vocabulary, means I'm sick and I FEEL as though I've been hit by a truck. It is a figure of speech that I use (because I am an extremely over emotional, over compensating and DRAMATIC teenager... Sounds normal right)? And as of right now I feel as though I have been hit by a giant-ass Mack truck going 3000000  kmh (again with the DRAMA)... So in other words, I'm sick and I've got me a serious case of the sniffles (Excuse the hick-ness of that sentence). We all know how when your sick and you feel like Satan is about to come soon and take you to hell and that would still feel better than how you're currently feeling. Anyway, back to the truck system as I call it does have a range. My sick-ness could range from a children's wagon running over my toe to Bigfoot running straight into my forehead at full speed (for all you normal people out there.. Bigfoot is NOT a mythical creature in this case but a monster truck with GIANT wheels, search it up on google if you really want to know...) And that-that-that's all folks! (Really bad impression of the Looney Tunes ending)

Marlee

I have a friend. (Surprise!) To say the least she's interesting... She is named after a trouble- making dog and her last name is disgusting. 

MARLEE'S CRUSHING BI-POLARITY....

Marlee, is a talented soul in crushing on guys... She has had a crush at some point about almost every guy at our school probably and she changes her mind almost as much as I do. (She's gonna KILL ME) Marlee has a talent when it comes to having a crush on a guy (experience is KEY here ladies...) she also has some creepy ass spidey senses... She can "sense" a guy she likes around her from like 15 feet away... (Seriously... It's some creepy s**t!!!)

"Big Boobs"

A defining feature about Marlee is that... She has... Ummm... Large Endowments (big boobs) and this is her defining feature (when you are trying to explain her to someone) you say "big boobs" or "the Jewish one" and for some reason everybody knows who you're talking about... 

Marlee and her CODE NAMES

Marlee as you know, has a lot of crushes. She also likes to give "code names" to her (and my) crushes... It's either helpful or just plain annoying... (Mostly annoying) Some recent code names were: "Person Person" "Rib" and "Farmer" (yes these are what we actually used) 

ROMANCE ANYONE? 

Marlee is a sucker for romance... She will "Awwww" at every second word a couple says, or trying to read Shakespeare with her?? Have fun... Or at sleepovers when she is a little tired, high (on candy) and feeling a little lonely all she can do is "Awwww"... Marlee is not currently winning in the love lottery at the time.. So any single guys?? Huh? Huh?? (Come on, her defining feature is "big boobs" you know you want to get yourselves some o' THAT!!) 

...The TERRIFYING 

Usually Marlee's name and Terrifying aren't anywhere near each other in a sentence but in this context the are... When I first met Marlee (at a grade 7 orientation thingy) I was so scared of her... I guess it was because she was loud and crazy so I couldn't handle THAT much awesomeness in one person at the time. 

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SHARE A HOTEL ROOM WITH MARLEE: 

Let's just say that somehow every time I share a room with Marlee she ends up having some issues and then she becomes naked (no lesbian-ness going on in said "issues")

My Sappiness:

Ok I'm about to get all sappy on yo' butts... Marlee really is one of my best friends, she is funny, beautiful (guys?), helps me with my *multiple* problems (JOE) and even though she may not see it all the time I really do appreciate her and everything she does for me. 

The Volleyball Theory.

Don't you hate it when someone you like is with someone? Or if one of your best friends likes them too? I, also have similar feelings towards this particular situation (long, fancy way of saying "I do too"). This is the worst feeling, when you are head over heels for someone and you find out that they're dating someone (and if you're anything like me.. your first instinct is "how can I kill her and make it look like an accident")? It makes everything 1000000 times worse (a small exaggeration) when "the other girl" is prettier, funnier, sportier and more popular than you. This is when I wish that the volleyball theory came in. The volleyball theory (for those who have been living under a rock) is that if you "liked" a guy, you could yell "MINE" and all of the other b**hes would BACK OFF. This would make crushes SO much easier. For example, let's say you like this guy, you (somehow theoretically) yell MINE and everyone else backs off, then if "he" (somehow theoretically) yells MINE on you, you know he likes you. Therefore taking all of the "Does he like me?" stuff out of the way... PERFECT SOCIETY!!!