*Disclaimer*

Hello blog readers of the internet, I am about to put up a whole bunch of "school-related" posts (6 or 7 to be exact) and they are quite different to my normal, insane, choppy writing style so don't panic, I am not changing or going through a mid- teenage life crisis or something... It's just a school project.

Nobody cares as, yet again, I am writing to nobody.

Great.

*New disclaimer - I took all the posts down because they were annoying me and the aesthetic of my blog. trying to keep it professional here (LOL)*

Yesterday.

Hey blogosphere.

*I am pretty sure I'm like the only person who actually says "blogosphere"*

So as you may think from the serious title of "Yesterday" (WITH A .) that something else depressing or sad happened to me yesterday and I'm about to blabber on about how nobody understands me and I'm going to be alone forever and just basically how life sucks. Well, let me tell you, that is a very wrong assumption.

Yesterday, (April 2nd 2015) was one of the best days I've had in a while.

It started out as a pretty normal morning, I got up, and then climbed back into my bed, snuggled for a while, and then actually got up. I got dressed and then the day of wonderful unicorn happiness commenced with me looking F.I.E.R.C.E (Admittedly, I did look "hoe"-like (as my mother and brother both manage to point out)).

It was while I was in the car that I remembered that I was FINALLY going for my braces appointment that day. I was at last going to be on my way to straight teeth. I had been waiting patiently for braces ever since grade 6, but alas, I am now in grade 11. #divorcedparentprobs.

Anyway, I did all that stuff and they took molds of my stupid teeth (Which, on the top resemble a cliff and sometimes I imagine that little people walk to their unfortunate deaths when they go a little too far and prance right off the edge of my teeth-cliff. Poor imaginary tiny people)

Well, that was random.

Okay back on track. After the Orthodontist, I got dropped back at school where, I had missed my “harder” class (English 3U) and now just had Art. In art I did almost nothing, because I had finished my Mythical creature assignment (It’s a two-headed dragon, I will attach a picture) and brought it down to the “Big” art room to be fired.

Art ended and in a surge if newfound confidence I decided I was going to eat lunch with this cute boy I have had a crush on for a while now. He sits alone and I felt bad (also, cute) so I decided I would bless him with my presence. My insane, loud, socially awkward self. I think I may have scared him because he’s really shy and quiet and I’m well… Not. We did talk all lunch hour, and I learned a lot about him, and yeah he’s real cute (Dimples = YES.) So that was the second ball of amazingness that happened to me yesterday.

After lunch, I just had SAP (Intro to Sociology, Anthropology and Psychology) and we were in the computer lab, so naturally my friends and I went on Webkinz and Polly Pocket and TVO kids and played children’s games all period long, reliving fond memories from the “good ol’ days”.  *Webkinz has sooooo many ads now it’s insane*

Then was the “buyout”. A buyout, for those who don’t know, is when something is happening at my school (Football games, Basketball games... etc.) and you (the student) brings in money (usually 2-5 dollars) and you quite literally BUY OUT of class. I got to miss Math for this buyout which I was pretty freaking happy about.

Another wonderful thing that happened yesterday was RUGBY practice (btw.. “Lunch guy” used to play rugby.. YES again) and at rugby practice, I got lifted into the air. It was terrifying and so fun all at the same time! You may be wondering… Why? Why did you get lifted into the air? Well, my friend, It was part of something called a Line-out, which, in rugby, is when the ball goes out of bounds and this is how we get it back in.

Lastly, I DRIVEDED  yesterday. I, actually drove a piece of machinery (my dad's escape) and I did not kill anybody! WOOT WOOT go me! I just went around in squares and I actually pressed the gas. 

And yeah, that is the recount of my amaaaaazing day! I never know how to end these things.

Well, bye!

P.S. For those people *coughs* *Mum* who were annoyed at how short my posts were, this one consists of 668 words so HA!

Links for Children's Websites Mentioned:

Webkinz

Polly Pocket

TVO kids

Literally me.

"My life is like Friends, except no Rachel, Ross, Monica, Phoebe or Joey, just Chandler in a room by himself laughing at his own jokes."

I am Chandler, Chandler is me, we are one. 

I love the television show Friends, and i was surfing the web and saw this, it was just too funny to not post!

Also, soon there will be a giant post, It is a school project, don't be alarmed. I will go into more detail on the actual post.

Well, this is awkward.

What am I doing with my life?

Nobody cares.

Okay gonna go now before this gets any more philosophical and deep.

OH MY GOSH.

Okay so we all know this blog is not poular by any definition, BUT, for the first time ever "WE" have broken 100 views of this blog in one day.. YAAAAAS!!!! I'm so happy right now it's kinda pathetic.

THANK YOU RANDOM PEOPLE WHO READ MY COMPLAINTS ON THE INTERNET :)

I am so thankful for the fact that all of your lives are so boring you have the time and energy to read my posts. So, thanks.

*really random post*

*a lot of use of the word Thanks*

*sorry*

*eep*

Might as well just shun me now.

Hello blogosphere, It's me again, and this post is slightly overdue but I have just been "busy" (extremely lazy) so I have not written anything.

Well, you're probably wondering about the title and thinking "No! we would never shun you we love you!" Who am I kidding, nobody is saying that. I'm typing to myself as usual.

I DYED MY HAIR

Well, sort of.

I dyed the tips of my gorgeous red locks black. So far no elderly people have shunned me for my sins, but its only been a week. 

So yes, my minions, I have become rebellious and cool. Bow down to me :)

I also started wearing mascara, It's been a week and I'm already done with the whole not-being-able-to-rub-your-eyes-thing. So done.

This all happened while my best friend was in Cuba, soaking up the sun, without me, not even worrying that I may do something drastic like pretty much do anything I've ever said I wouldn't do. Boy, was she surprised. I posted a picture (a SELFIE, nonetheless) of my hair and when she got back she saw it and freaked out. Then, at school the following day, I walked in and she caught sight of me, her rebellious best friend, and barreled down the hallway towards me and my other friend Zara hid behind me because a barreling Marlee is a dangerous Marlee. She crashed into me and immediately started screaming and analyzing every new thing about me. In front of everybody, In the crowded hallway, It was great.

Anyway, that's that.

Hopefully you guys (one person who actually reads this thing... I know that you're out there) enjoyed this little rant thingmadoodle. 

'tis a picture of my beautiful monkey face

Point Proof Explanation Paragraphs

I consider myself a human being, a creative one at that. 

I do not like structure, I feel it dampens my naturally creative spirit.  

This, is why I, as a human (as opposed to a rule-following robot only concerned with grades), do not like the "Point-Proof-Explanation" paragraph style. 

In this dead fish of writing structure, you do not actually need a single brain cell to write it. It follows a very specif pattern of: 
1) telling the "Point" you will be arguing in your paragraph.
2) finding "Proof" (usually in the form of a quotation from a text you were forced to read.) and properly citing it (Mooers 17). 
3) In an essay, the "Explanation" part is where you explain how your  "Point" relates to your thesis, stated in your equally dead and equally fish-smelling introduction paragraph.

I constantly voice my strong distaste for these paragraphs, including on multiple occasions, arguing with my English and history teachers to let me write MY WAY. I never win. So, my creative mind is forced to think scientifically and logically (for anybody who knows me, you know that I am not a logical person). 

Anyway, That's it.. Unless I find something else to complain about today.

How to identify a hipster.

As I was walking down the city streets of downtown Toronto, my eccentric mother asks "what is a hipster?" I laugh, and reply "dearest mother, a hipster is an individual who tries to be different and refuses to "conform" or fit into a group of people. While that is not a true assumption. They fall into a group all their own, The Hipsters."

HOW TO IDENTIFY A HIPSTER.

I. "The Look"

Hipsters can be seen wearing the following: 

• beanies 
• doc martens
• OODLES OF PLAID
• ripped jeans or rolled up chinos
• mustaches and beards are popular for the men
• other utilitarian boots
• strange flat shoes that i do not know the name of
• "douche" haircut (shaved sides, floppy bit on top)
• MORE PLAID
• unkempt appearance, "just-got-out-of-bed-and-I'm-homeless-chic"
• skinny jeans for men, baggy "mom jeans" complete with pleats for women
• hoodies, probably american apparel.
• HIPSTER GLASSES (glasses with thick frames and a sort of block-y, geometric appearance)
• cigarettes (all.the.time)
• messenger bag filled with records of random indie bands, more cigarettes, some sort of apple device, something vintage probably, money (it is still unclear as to where hipsters get money from), journal (full of brooding thoughts and comics depicting corporate greed), a couple pens.
• tattoos 
• often carrying some sort of local Starbucks spin-off drink.
• constantly wearing hats
• scarves they knitted themselves

II. "Where to Spot a wild Hipster in it's natural Habitat"

Hipsters are typically seen in one of 3 places:

1. Concerts, of Indie bands that *shhh* don't actually exist
2. Aforementioned "Starbucks spin-offs" and other coffee-house-like I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.A.N.T food eatery.
3. In their equally hipster-ized lofts, complete with wooden rafters and all the vintage doohickeys you can imagine!

III. "The Rules"

There are very strict hipster rules, to be in this group that has formed out of people who claim to be independent and refuse to "conform" to someone else's ideas... Hmmm... Makes perfect sense *she types with some sarcastic sass*.

• DO NOT be happy that you're favorite "band" (they actually don't exist) won... anything. No record contracts. no recognition, no nothing. You just want them to be eternally struggling and practicing in their garages.
• DO NOT CONFORM
• HATE MAJOR CORPORATIONS... except for apple, apple is life.
• DO NOT shower... ever... seriously. (If you do happen to get clean somehow, go outside and roll in a mud puddle, to achieve that "authentic" look.
• ALWAYS drink obscure alcohol brands that may or may not have WHMIS labels on them... :/
• PENCILS ARE MAINSTREAM. pens, however are widely accepted among the hipster community, because of their obvious individuality.
• RECYCLE, SAVE THE PLANET always.
• IF YOU OWN a car, you are contributing to the major oil companies success, instead, the hipsters suggest you ride a USED bike, yes, even in the winter. Have fun.
• ALWAYS have records and a record player (because.. vintage), even though you're obscure "bands" don't make records, and you actually listen to their music on your BRAND NEW TOTALLY NOT MAINSTREAM IPHONE 6+.
• IF you are a man, you must have a mustache and a massive beard.
• GET (or make) a journal, to write all your brooding hipster thoughts in.
• DO NOT take your hat off indoors 
• In your "hipster home" you must have at least an entire forest's equivalent of exposed wood throughout home.
• NEVER look happy, if you smile, you will be shunned from the hipster community.
• as part of your initiation into the hipster community, you will be required to knit a scarf.
• THRIFT STORES ARE LIFE

And that, is an extensive guide to finding and identifying your very own hipster!